The earliest memory I can think of from my childhood is me running around , my eyes speaking my joy and living the moment. Not once did I ever think of times ahead of the second. With years passing by, I hardly managed to keep the ‘old me’ and tried to be the ‘new me’. The new me is more laughter, more fun, more relations, more books, more worries. In short, more ‘everything’.
I was content until one morning’s revelation that led me to my own understanding. The morning rays showered vitamin D and lots of vitamin R. Oh, I mean R for ‘realization’. Staring at the walls sure helps you out by giving you some answers to intriguing questions. And so, it was that day that I learnt of the loss. The loss that I cannot count for. The lost years, the lost relations, the lost opportunities and the lost smiles. I couldn’t remember the last time I smiled genuinely. “Hell! ” I shouted out to myself and told myself tales to never let it happen again. Ever.
We are humans and erring is the most common trait our DNA carries. You repeat the same stuff over and over with out you expecting the consequences.Like any other human,I went back to my non-happy existent life. But, nature has it’s own modus operandi to let the word out. My second realization dawned upon me while I was watching a family of four members who were deaf and dumb. It’s not pity for their plight that consumed me over my sense of reason but their happiness. The bond they shared radiated all around them. It spoke of their “togetherness”. So what if they can’t talk or hear each other? They can watch over one another’s back and be a pillar of support. That,I realized, was their strength keeping them together.
“Once, you start believing in the good , more good happens to you. ” Someone’s mantra to a wonderful living. I would like to believe every word of the sentence. Just when I started to accept the truth and bend down to learn what I should have learnt a long time ago, I come across two very strong individuals. Watching them do what they have to do for what they want from life is a fuel to the fire burning within me. One was a government-school going girl who was physically challenged. We know how well Indian Government schools offer education. But, wearing the uniform and a large bag of books hanging over her back, trying to walk faster to catch the bus to get home to her world… OMG. It brought tears to my heavily dried eyes. She was seeing her future with lots of hope and fervor. She knew she was going to be in a place way better than where she presently is. Her strength was her imagination. The other was a woman bus conductor( for the bus I was travelling in) In a world filled with male ego, she let her attitude talk for her. She held the ticket book with elegance and yet handed the tickets to the passengers with command . She leaned on with confidence showing no signs of weakness letting the world believe that she is a female in disguise. For a long time I thought what could her strength be? Then, I found the answer staring right back at me. It was her “I-don’t-care-about-anything-as-long-as-I-get-it-right” attitude. Yes, it made perfect sense.
It’s all about you noticing fireflies midst an ocean of nobodys. These fireflies are every where lighting other people’s lives with their innocence, strength and confidence. Their stories are not heard but when seen make a lot of difference. I can now say that my strength lies in understanding people, processes and tid bits of world’s own motor. If I could ever thank some of those people who led me out of the maze that I created for myself, it has to be in the form of this post.